I continued to tread through a dreadful mist of lies but suddenly I took a left turn and saw the truth before me. Surprisingly the truth was just that whenever I keep telling myself the same lie, it decides to show itself to me after an odd number of times. The lie was that I only thought of her in that way because she was the girl everyone want. The Prized One or the best possible thing that makes you class material if you get her. It’s good to lie to yourself, but it’s bad when you can’t shake the fact that it’s a lie when you’re saying it. The fact that I adore her and it’s actually not a crush but something way above in the food chain is questionable when you cannot fathom how or why it escalated so quickly.
Facing the fact, I wanted to speak but normally it’s hard enough truthfully, now I had to find the courage to move up and reason with it. Cutting on the metaphors, I’ll tell you that if there was any other moment which had been so educational, it would still be right after this one. This meeting was the silent pass by but the fact is the silence delivered quite an intensive speech.
She walked through the crowd while moving her hair with one hand and holding her phone in the other. It was a reminder that the situation didn’t look to have aged at all. Her eyes as beautiful as they were oblivious to my presence. She didn’t seemed to have aged at all, rather looked to have become younger. In a few seconds I became from aimless to analytical and that hurts.
How easy it was just crossing paths without even letting them collide is what you realize. However meanwhile everything isn’t looking so great on the inside. There is worry, anxiety and fear regarding what the person should do. Should he walk up and face his fear? What measures should he take? What is the bloody plan?
I wish I could say everybody’s right and I should perhaps either face her or face it. Well thing is I am moving on but cannot be rid of her. I have reached the new level where I have perhaps escaped her but she hasn’t yet escaped my mind. She keeps coming back, my mind keeps bringing her back at times. Well for one thing the constant wishes got me to see her live again however that birdwatching session showed me something new. The same thing but through the eyes of sensibility did I see it.
Now with that I am one step closer to ridding myself off self-torture. I would be lying if I say I didn’t feel like the world is stealing her away from me now that we don’t exist to each other, well at least me to her but then what can you do right? Everyone has to move on and it was now my turn to seriously do that, however at the same time I’ll keep some hope for the next nine years.