Too Complicated

I miss you. I don’t know why. You were just a passing perfume. You didn’t feel like it was meant to be. Even I, a travelling buyer never had the direct interest at first. It slowly came as I saw a specialty that was quite intriguing.

If that is how simple it was why do I crave only your fragrance? I tend to look at every other around me every day, gain and lose interests for them. Yet even while enjoying them it is you that I try to find. Comparison develops before I even think of it. You continue to be a chief basis.

“You think I am drunk?”

Well my heart is, I am completely sober.

I keep on moving forward every single day, my heart however wanders in all directions and then leads itself through the maze to you.

You keep being a light shining it’s light on me even in the darkness.

“Where are you?” I ask myself stopping in between the crowd.

“Where am I?”

I seem to have an insane addiction when thinking about you, going on and on and on. A brainless pleasure for piercing myself real smoothly.

I swear! Where in heavens do you get the indirect strength to haunt me and where do I intake the drug that keeps you inside me.

“What is it I wonder. I would having that from tomorrow if I knew”

You give me a confusion that transcends through oceans but that aims to reach you at some point without prediction.

“Why do you……well you know?” they ask me.

Others say I’m obsessed. Well let me clarify right now.

“I’m complicated.”

Perhaps it was your slender figure, your warmth perhaps too depth defying or maybe it was your straight hair. Perhaps it tickled more than just my nose, sent a part of you deep inside while it was at it.

Or or or I know it must have been your face, too sweet for comfort. Must have been those eyes too. I am so casting a contradicting curse on the person that made you right now.

Look at me, flirting on a piece of paper. Confusion at it’s best.

This is so complicated. I am so so complicated.

You are a well I want to escape but I wish for you to give me water at least thrice a week.

I need to fill the void. I need a new fragrance. I yearn for one every minute.

“But I so wish you were the new one.”

“Again!”

“Why?” Even I ask myself. “WHY?? Tell me!”

(A drop)

“Even I’m trying to understand” said the heart.

 

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Pretend it’s real

There are so many things in this world that makes one sad everyday. Either it is the anxiety when your exams are around the corner or the rejection from the present girl.

Let me tell you a trick to be happy.

Keep dreaming.

No I mean seriously, keep dreaming. Keep believing that whatever you want will come true. I’ll tell you why………Wait! Do I really?

Well yeah for all those who think I’m trying to bore you here and because I can’t write something so small.

It’s because when you love something or someone it doesn’t hurt to make them your’s in your dreams. It’s actually completely fine ……..but yeah please don’t try to do the same thing in real life unless it is actually your’s, especially in case of a “someone”. Or else I hear a lot of sound effects coming from your side.

Pretending doesn’t hurt unless it makes you a psychopathic criminal. Pretension of a particular situation is one way to keep the sadness away, even if it is because of that same situation.

Again just don’t let it make you obsess over it, unless it’s your career cause it helps in that case.

Don’t get me wrong, here I’m telling you to keep on dreaming and then chattering about not getting obsessed with what you want. You need to know how to obsess over something and how not to.

If you’re in love with someone (prime and most famous example) and that person has left you or you’ve not even won her yet, main thing is you love her and it’s been 2 years. Now some say “It’s not love, it’s obsession.” but you disagree. Let’s say they are partly right if not fully. Thing is love is a bit of an obsession no matter how you try to define it, a bit is there until when you move on but one should never let it go to a point where the negative parts begin to come out.

Obsess over her, believe inside your pretty little head that she’s your’s, make memories, have kids for all she cares, heck maybe even imagine yourself making her smile again when she’s sad and then acting cool, but don’t let it affect you greatly. Always let your dreaming relieve you momentarily, let it push you to try to get it and help you reach those points when you’re having it but never ever force it.

Now I’ll answer the million dollar question:

Why will it help keep the sadness away if it’s the same thing that’s the problem?

Well you see, that’s because your mind wants it and it’s that same mind that tells you to be sad because of it. You need to tell that idiot that “See! You got it!” then it will stop acting up, fool it basically.

We all know how this basically works regarding careers so it’s without a doubt I don’t need to emphasize about it. Just keep on believing you’ll get there and don’t leave your passion(s) regarding that. Yeah but pretend about that too, it helps to know what exactly it looks like there at that place you are about to go to. See yourself giving your interview at a talk show and imagine what questions you’re being asked and what you’re answering, how you’re answering and how you’re setting your own trend.

On a whole, keep pretending. Keep believing. It’s your own little reality which you’re trying to make for others too.

 

 Love is Simply Complicated

 

Our world is filled with complications from so many angles. We just don’t know what to do with the situation. One such complication is the concept of love.

Okay so here it comes, the brilliant situation formed by the imagination when there is a temptation giving rise to certain motivation. However sometimes there’s a degradation in the heart’s condition because of the unrequited infatuation giving rise to depression.

That, my friends is love in a matter of words. However the fact is it obviously doesn’t end there.

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Quite frankly the words themselves strike either an “Awwww” or a “I’m really sorry but we’re just friends” depending on whether you’re that girl or not. I mean if she’s thinking that he’s not thinking of her, she feels it safe to go “Awww sooo sweet!”

It’s either that or if she feels the same, and has been hiding it so perfectly. Like you won’t believe how much she deserves a Golden Globe right now.

Well when that happens, my friend please don’t forget to treat everyone as well as the girl too (later when you’re both alone) to some pizza and cupcakes cause you just won something great, love of the person you care the most about.

It’s like whatever it is you did, whether it was the most romantic proposal ever for example let’s say you decided to sing her favourite song on her birthday and then unravel a cake which says those three words. Either that or let’s say you’ve gone extreme and proved to her how much she means to you. No matter how dreadfully painful that might have been to whichever parts of your body. Basically the hospital is happy.

 

Wasn’t that just the sweetest thing you ever heard?

Like butterflies in spring with fresh air touching your skin right?

Well romance is just that, a whole endless bottleful of words and gestures which converges the lives of two people and gives the others around them a classic case of diabetes.

The way he says it and the way she reacts gives that feeling, that feeling that there is so much passion, so much closeness and so much intimacy that they were “meant for each other”.

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Yup! Breakup. A bloody breakup. Just when you thought it was really getting good and was gonna keep on going and will keep bringing more and more sweetness. It was going to bear great fruit…..literally. Bring more interesting adventures for them and they’d learn more together. You were just about to lock them in a room and lock the key and then throw the key into the sea when suddenly said “No need bruh”.

Then as both of them are “moving on”, one of them meets someone else after let’s say two months or two weeks if he/she has speed racer quality pitching skills.

Then the situation happens all over again. The beautiful situation based on similar imagination. Birds are singing.

Then it ends and I look up and am like “Why? Why? What do you have against my dreams man?”

Given time it happens again and you realize that there’s no end and that there’s really nothing called “true love”. It’s just present satisfaction and based on present individualities. People change along with their thought processes.

That idiot who was complimenting Jane’s lovely eyes and soft lips is doing the same with Jennifer’s. It doesn’t stay cent percent original as it’s a bit different now.

You can’t blame anyone or anything cause well everyone does it. Love isn’t everlasting anymore and hence “true” as you don’t have that “one special person” necessarily. I mean now life gives you special offer and sometimes gives you five. For those extraordinary people life gives somewhere between nineteen and twenty seven.

Love has become vastly momentary and basically complex for my understanding. However the concept of this is very simple.

Hence love is simply complicated.

 

The First Time

The day when you saw her the first time. The first one obviously. The second one is beautiful, smart, pleasurable and great too but we all know that thing about the first.

Well the situation usually starts with something like this:

“I love her okay!! Noone look at her until I break up with her after I get her or I am over her after I don’t. So what I do now? Oh wait I told you not to look sorry. First order cancelled. Look at her like anything but that and tell me what to do.”

Okay perhaps I am kidding, that happens with me more. Okay! Okay! just me.

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Now let’s say it takes a few……okay let’s not be too subtle. Lots of moments of peril and finally you get that perfect moment where chances are greater.

Now the grand moment that all of you have been yearning for. The moment when he finally says it. Like the idiot finally stops dawdling around and ruining the climatic moments every time with a ridiculous excuse or temporary plot change.

“I love you”

“You really mean a lot to me.”

“I like you a lot.”

Whichever lines or paragraphs it may have been. Point is, it was utterly romantic. And now:

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“Yes! I love you too.”

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Dammit! Tears of pride and joy! Oh my god! Can you feel the happiness and hear some extremely romantic song playing?

Beautiful! A sight to see. They kiss. They cuddle. Years go by as it gets serious. Their love takes them to the next level.

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Ladies and gentlemen, I give you babies!

For legal purposes, they venture into the marriage court.

“Bro you have a great life. Beautiful wife, a cute kid and a happy marriage”

Okay so that was one life. Another is they break up before the next level.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the period of enlightenment.

Either via problems or it’s on mature terms. Let’s choose the latter in the next life.

We realize that it was special irrespective of whether it’s gone or if it stayed, it was the “first time” and nothing beats it. The cough from your first sip of vodka, the first time you fell on the ground, the other first time and yes, your first kiss. The second doesn’t come close.

Now if you didn’t get her, that’s a very long, and depressing story for a day we’ll devote to crying.

P.S. If they break up like after fifteen-sixteen years of marriage, let’s just say that happens too but they both know how much of worth their first time was.

 

Let it Be: A Tribute

This is something I wrote after some good coffee and a cover of the song. Want to dedicate this to Paul and angela vasquez who sang his song so well

Why do we try?

Why do we even cry?

When there’s no end….no help

The fact that it goes on and on without stop

The little boy needs help

But there is none

Let suffering go to everyone

 

Situation is out of control

He takes a knife

So he can say bye to the endless strife

He is going to take the painful stroll

Towards painlessness

He wants to imagine an end

But he treads towards a place where there is no imagination

He wants to take a long sleep

So that never again he has to weep

The endless cries, from a distance the reaper sees

Time to enter the void

He’s waiting with a smile

 

“When the broken hearted people living in the world agree”

There will be an answer, “You shall be free”

“Though they may be parted there is still a chance that they will see”

There will be hope, believe, “let it be”

 

As the he turned in question

The heart now did see.

With tears he saw, it was she

 

In his hour of darkness she’s standing right in front of him

Telling him everything wasn’t so dim

“Speaking words of wisdom. Let it be”

After a long time, the truth he did see

 

Now with his smile he faces the darkness

“When the night is clouded there is still a light that shines on me”

He takes a step, puts his arms around the shadow

With love, “It’s okay now, let it be”

Noone like You

With hair like tender silk
Eyes like black diamonds
She walks this earth
As a blessing to those who know her
And a loss to those who don’t
When you but see her smile
You can but notice a certain feeling
That comes over you

It is so warm and fuzzy
That it makes you smile when you’re sad
Cause she is so utterly sweet
That you cant even hope to feel bad
When she talks, its as if she’s singing
Doesn’t matter how silly her thoughts are
You still feel your heart to be ringing

The way she gently caresses her hair
When she feels like looking even more cute
The way she joyously looks at you
When you bring her food

The way you feel
When you see her cry
If it’s because of me
I’d rather die
She is so lucky
To have so many who care
She is so  beautiful that
Finding someone like her is rare

I will always fail to get her
No matter how I try
Still no matter what I’ll still hope
That she doesn’t say “Goodbye”
To her I have many things I wanna say
But right now I’ll just say “I love you”
For her I have many things I wanna do
I will cause “There’s no-one like you”

Love’s last letter

 

Dear love of my life,

You know you’re too important to me. You always have. You always will be. You refuse to answer as it’s the polite fashion. The safe way. “It’s ok”

The sound of your silence is better than that of your “No”. Perhaps that would hit ten times as much.

However I miss the frequent awkwardness that I caused. Your occasional bloom, and especially those white shiny teeth. Those occasional free periods alone with you was bliss. Aiming to get you to not say “I’m bored” was like attempting to answer a chemistry question correctly without having studied. I hadn’t. The constant exercise I got when getting your troubles to go away. Those phone calls too.

I know even you cherish some of them, especially getting ice cream while angering my wallet.

But now as 10 years have gone by and you’re sitting with your little darling Emma, I lie under a grave waiting to meet you next time,

and tell you in a different way that

“I really want it to last longer.”

Your’s Lovingly

A loving soldier