He surrendered to the cause.
As he lay awake, smouldering. Shouldered by indefinite discourse. Pillage by the pain. Savaged by utter melody of the one voice. The voice that should make me search for peace. Instead I wait. I wait for the never ending paradigm to shift the focus of time.
Time, the mischievous little fairytale founder that began the end of longing. Crossed itself by as I lay to waste in her eyes. As I dwelled in silence between her words. And waited for a kiss back.
As she stood a step in the distance
I was a lifetime apart but yet so close
A satisfaction towards the corner of her smile
Merry times led to a withering flower
With petals that curled in over it’s beautiful veins of insecurity
Watching loudly, controlling the fear on her reins in obscurity
Cast away in dimensions, treading on varied simplicity
A tear flowed in silence, the smile blew away a thousand hearts
The red lineage of her bitter monuments, I stared into her servitude
A mellow piece of my ecstasy beneath the west wind raindrops
The veins cried out a whisper that reached deep within my malt-ish vine
Scurried into my Neverland she bit through a thousand pasts
The touch she pushed inside worrying inches of my light heartbeats
Swollen and sorry as I looked past her colorful cries
Heaped and dark, rash and definitely not mine to wonder
I got up as I swam past her Spaniards, reached the dusked up destination
I took a roundabout across memories of sadness, a left took me to another zone
Lost I got as I slipped into a trance, her embrace made me feel at home
Slim was her sensibility, sweetly swollen was her hair
Messed in senses, a Evangeline structure ripped bare
The crimson serenity stripped to no amends
Her fair complexion bewitched past a thousand stares
Courageous yet cautious I entered into the solemn seduction
A raw merriment so pure, the crisps of the sides prismed sore
Queried past self-psychosis, as she continued her invasion
Days passed by in an universe that intersected in collision
I felt her scent as I outran her inner melancholy
I carried fast while I pictured her bliss, insinuatingly jolly
In dominance I played to a river of her solitude
I confessed upon her inner angel, she broke fortitude
I looked into the soul of her inner, mesmerizing
I crept into her consciousness twice, thrice surprising
As she rejected all through her frequent rants
She self-seduced seduction in loud whispers
When she cried inside her inner sanctum
My hidden essence could hear her weep
With numerous bare heavens, she hid the burnt doorways
Clenching her body with certain joy, my thoughts felt like sto-waways
Writhing in a beckoning so high I took her close
Her slender arms and legs left me comatose
As I called to her shadows, the soft skin so brown and bright
I risked all and dipped into her, holding her insecurities very tight
A relationship set back in time, in a parallel existence
Wondering within waters of memory, a kiss that put the lights out
She dispelled into pestilence, scared me with masterful mania
Hid through every hasty handful, she played through the emotional field
Struck with darkened interference, I was licked by a foolish intolerance
I caressed her dry, treading into a torrid feeling which got to my sense
As I walked away from her brown eyes, I rode into a different sunset
Dressed her in silence, every time coming back to where we first met
As she faded away in non-existence
A hug came to me in fantasy
Few sparkles of ceremonious giggles
Lighting up chrysanthemum in a little glass
“You are among my cluster of thoughts”
In a garden of metered maleficence
A true embodiment of gifted lilac
Entrusted by the heart on it’s bloom
Impertinent and immoral, wasted by cruelty sweet
I took a quick glance before the eyes would meet
Proudly I dared look into her compressed mirror
Colors bounced between convex edges
Artful than the impression that Gogh did forget
Menacingly beautiful as she took the turn
A celibacy of uncountable dark attractions at that
A pact of resentful urgencies that cluelessly burn
Puppet intentions, I took a peel of what I could take
The soft edges of mysticism exchanged by a shake
As she curled into his pages, stinging with her straight hair so folly
Her eyes showed the way towards Eden, spreading enamour so jolly
“I love her like anything”, greeneries of thought
A penitent displeasure in the breath
It’s solemnly not a vague plethora
Of any melancholia given to perfection
Strings of euphony lusted in ceremony
Laughter of agony kissed through obscurity
He knew she violated second to none
The edged mistress etched into crimson
The shining black eyes of a liason
With a look that left all red in sensation
The stranger gave another smile
As she ravaged the heart of no return
Skillfully her slender nature took position
Moulding in between while she caressed away
She moved her penchant eyes and searched territory
A discovery properly dressed to be found
The lush hair that left you in dementia
Maroon-ed me ebony, circumstances stood still
Her inner skin touched till fury emerged pointless
Sin brightly crept from behind, curves on their faces
Cloaked in delight, aroused by the stir of salvation
Scared past her ambiguity, cursed by self-domination
As her dark effervescence brightened the path
The solemn moments took it’s first wrath
Supple merriment that passed completely bathed
As he moved through her neck, the sweet shrieks left him unscathed
The innocence that penetrated into the depths of cynicism
The satanic thirst of the angel so pure in contradiction
Descant followed her light feet, each step into melancholia
The lilac jested it’s fragrance, stamped me with her insignia
I continued to tread through a dreadful mist of lies but suddenly I took a left turn and saw the truth before me. Surprisingly the truth was just that whenever I keep telling myself the same lie, it decides to show itself to me after an odd number of times. The lie was that I only thought of her in that way because she was the girl everyone want. The Prized One or the best possible thing that makes you class material if you get her. It’s good to lie to yourself, but it’s bad when you can’t shake the fact that it’s a lie when you’re saying it. The fact that I adore her and it’s actually not a crush but something way above in the food chain is questionable when you cannot fathom how or why it escalated so quickly.
Facing the fact, I wanted to speak but normally it’s hard enough truthfully, now I had to find the courage to move up and reason with it. Cutting on the metaphors, I’ll tell you that if there was any other moment which had been so educational, it would still be right after this one. This meeting was the silent pass by but the fact is the silence delivered quite an intensive speech.
She walked through the crowd while moving her hair with one hand and holding her phone in the other. It was a reminder that the situation didn’t look to have aged at all. Her eyes as beautiful as they were oblivious to my presence. She didn’t seemed to have aged at all, rather looked to have become younger. In a few seconds I became from aimless to analytical and that hurts.
How easy it was just crossing paths without even letting them collide is what you realize. However meanwhile everything isn’t looking so great on the inside. There is worry, anxiety and fear regarding what the person should do. Should he walk up and face his fear? What measures should he take? What is the bloody plan?
I wish I could say everybody’s right and I should perhaps either face her or face it. Well thing is I am moving on but cannot be rid of her. I have reached the new level where I have perhaps escaped her but she hasn’t yet escaped my mind. She keeps coming back, my mind keeps bringing her back at times. Well for one thing the constant wishes got me to see her live again however that birdwatching session showed me something new. The same thing but through the eyes of sensibility did I see it.
Now with that I am one step closer to ridding myself off self-torture. I would be lying if I say I didn’t feel like the world is stealing her away from me now that we don’t exist to each other, well at least me to her but then what can you do right? Everyone has to move on and it was now my turn to seriously do that, however at the same time I’ll keep some hope for the next nine years.
Unless you’re messing up while saying it, you’re not in love. You can’t not be when butterflies are fluttering inside you.
Change is inevitable people say. I don’t know about being inevitable or not but all I know is that it is damn important. However some things don’t change, namely habits. Some habits, like not remembering to clip your toenails or do one’s bed only seem like they are here to stay but they actually do change at some point. There are however some that just don’t no matter how you try such as being good or better yet, kind hearted. Kindness is a very attracting quality and a kind hearted person is usually a person whose drive runs on simplicity. However if you take reality into account, it is also the reverse. Why would someone who takes another person’s interests into account before himself get back something completely opposite? Well that too was my question. Perhaps it’s a lesson that kindness should vary or maybe he needs to stop or just maybe it’s the world telling him he doesn’t know how to exactly be kind. Being kind sometimes seems to almost have written policies when it comes to it’s dealings. Saying that being kind is a curse is actually true because a person cannot ever fully stop being kind. Kindness does not just go away completely, it just goes and sleeps somewhere deep inside. Though perhaps I wish it were one of those habits which could be changed completely. Kindness has a recoil more painful than that of cruelty.
Love is therefore a state that is an ultimate bummer. Once we get into that state we don’t want to take the change at any cost. The heart is a child and it’s needs are always like those of a five year old. The straightforward demand isn’t thought well through, especially when it wants something positive.
True selflessness doesn’t make one a saint, it’s just saying that person wasn’t meant to put himself first. However that doesn’t mean he isn’t putting his thoughts first, or else what would you say is driving all that selflessness? Seeing someone else happy makes him happy, there’s no such thing as a truly selfless person. Even when you’re doing those cute kind acts behind her back, to some extent you really want her to someday find out or else there’s dramatic reaction. Sometimes it takes more than just noticing her every wish while other times it needs a few repetitions of one particular thing.
Out of habit there still isn’t one you could say. The craving for selflessly loving someone or seeing him/her always happy really kills. Almost like a drug. So addictive that no matter what no matter how much it pains, the care, the love doesn’t falter.
I wish the complexity would leave. Then maybe some of the pain, and confusion would go away but it’s developed that habit. Trying to hide isn’t working if nothing else. Being so kind is a gift which doesn’t give much to the self. No matter how you define kindness you got to get something positive back or the vortex will suck you in and keep you there until that person pulls you out.
Sometimes us kind people just want to be butterflies and flutter away and do whatever we want on our own and for only ourselves but we’re in a weird cocoon unable to grow out of it.
I miss you. I don’t know why. You were just a passing perfume. You didn’t feel like it was meant to be. Even I, a travelling buyer never had the direct interest at first. It slowly came as I saw a specialty that was quite intriguing.
If that is how simple it was why do I crave only your fragrance? I tend to look at every other around me every day, gain and lose interests for them. Yet even while enjoying them it is you that I try to find. Comparison develops before I even think of it. You continue to be a chief basis.
“You think I am drunk?”
Well my heart is, I am completely sober.
I keep on moving forward every single day, my heart however wanders in all directions and then leads itself through the maze to you.
You keep being a light shining it’s light on me even in the darkness.
“Where are you?” I ask myself stopping in between the crowd.
“Where am I?”
I seem to have an insane addiction when thinking about you, going on and on and on. A brainless pleasure for piercing myself real smoothly.
I swear! Where in heavens do you get the indirect strength to haunt me and where do I intake the drug that keeps you inside me.
“What is it I wonder. I would having that from tomorrow if I knew”
You give me a confusion that transcends through oceans but that aims to reach you at some point without prediction.
“Why do you……well you know?” they ask me.
Others say I’m obsessed. Well let me clarify right now.
Perhaps it was your slender figure, your warmth perhaps too depth defying or maybe it was your straight hair. Perhaps it tickled more than just my nose, sent a part of you deep inside while it was at it.
Or or or I know it must have been your face, too sweet for comfort. Must have been those eyes too. I am so casting a contradicting curse on the person that made you right now.
Look at me, flirting on a piece of paper. Confusion at it’s best.
This is so complicated. I am so so complicated.
You are a well I want to escape but I wish for you to give me water at least thrice a week.
I need to fill the void. I need a new fragrance. I yearn for one every minute.
“But I so wish you were the new one.”
“Why?” Even I ask myself. “WHY?? Tell me!”
“Even I’m trying to understand” said the heart.
There are so many things in this world that makes one sad everyday. Either it is the anxiety when your exams are around the corner or the rejection from the present girl.
Let me tell you a trick to be happy.
No I mean seriously, keep dreaming. Keep believing that whatever you want will come true. I’ll tell you why………Wait! Do I really?
Well yeah for all those who think I’m trying to bore you here and because I can’t write something so small.
It’s because when you love something or someone it doesn’t hurt to make them your’s in your dreams. It’s actually completely fine ……..but yeah please don’t try to do the same thing in real life unless it is actually your’s, especially in case of a “someone”. Or else I hear a lot of sound effects coming from your side.
Pretending doesn’t hurt unless it makes you a psychopathic criminal. Pretension of a particular situation is one way to keep the sadness away, even if it is because of that same situation.
Again just don’t let it make you obsess over it, unless it’s your career cause it helps in that case.
Don’t get me wrong, here I’m telling you to keep on dreaming and then chattering about not getting obsessed with what you want. You need to know how to obsess over something and how not to.
If you’re in love with someone (prime and most famous example) and that person has left you or you’ve not even won her yet, main thing is you love her and it’s been 2 years. Now some say “It’s not love, it’s obsession.” but you disagree. Let’s say they are partly right if not fully. Thing is love is a bit of an obsession no matter how you try to define it, a bit is there until when you move on but one should never let it go to a point where the negative parts begin to come out.
Obsess over her, believe inside your pretty little head that she’s your’s, make memories, have kids for all she cares, heck maybe even imagine yourself making her smile again when she’s sad and then acting cool, but don’t let it affect you greatly. Always let your dreaming relieve you momentarily, let it push you to try to get it and help you reach those points when you’re having it but never ever force it.
Now I’ll answer the million dollar question:
Why will it help keep the sadness away if it’s the same thing that’s the problem?
Well you see, that’s because your mind wants it and it’s that same mind that tells you to be sad because of it. You need to tell that idiot that “See! You got it!” then it will stop acting up, fool it basically.
We all know how this basically works regarding careers so it’s without a doubt I don’t need to emphasize about it. Just keep on believing you’ll get there and don’t leave your passion(s) regarding that. Yeah but pretend about that too, it helps to know what exactly it looks like there at that place you are about to go to. See yourself giving your interview at a talk show and imagine what questions you’re being asked and what you’re answering, how you’re answering and how you’re setting your own trend.
On a whole, keep pretending. Keep believing. It’s your own little reality which you’re trying to make for others too.
Our world is filled with complications from so many angles. We just don’t know what to do with the situation. One such complication is the concept of love.
Okay so here it comes, the brilliant situation formed by the imagination when there is a temptation giving rise to certain motivation. However sometimes there’s a degradation in the heart’s condition because of the unrequited infatuation giving rise to depression.
That, my friends is love in a matter of words. However the fact is it obviously doesn’t end there.
Quite frankly the words themselves strike either an “Awwww” or a “I’m really sorry but we’re just friends” depending on whether you’re that girl or not. I mean if she’s thinking that he’s not thinking of her, she feels it safe to go “Awww sooo sweet!”
It’s either that or if she feels the same, and has been hiding it so perfectly. Like you won’t believe how much she deserves a Golden Globe right now.
Well when that happens, my friend please don’t forget to treat everyone as well as the girl too (later when you’re both alone) to some pizza and cupcakes cause you just won something great, love of the person you care the most about.
It’s like whatever it is you did, whether it was the most romantic proposal ever for example let’s say you decided to sing her favourite song on her birthday and then unravel a cake which says those three words. Either that or let’s say you’ve gone extreme and proved to her how much she means to you. No matter how dreadfully painful that might have been to whichever parts of your body. Basically the hospital is happy.
Wasn’t that just the sweetest thing you ever heard?
Like butterflies in spring with fresh air touching your skin right?
Well romance is just that, a whole endless bottleful of words and gestures which converges the lives of two people and gives the others around them a classic case of diabetes.
The way he says it and the way she reacts gives that feeling, that feeling that there is so much passion, so much closeness and so much intimacy that they were “meant for each other”.
Yup! Breakup. A bloody breakup. Just when you thought it was really getting good and was gonna keep on going and will keep bringing more and more sweetness. It was going to bear great fruit…..literally. Bring more interesting adventures for them and they’d learn more together. You were just about to lock them in a room and lock the key and then throw the key into the sea when suddenly said “No need bruh”.
Then as both of them are “moving on”, one of them meets someone else after let’s say two months or two weeks if he/she has speed racer quality pitching skills.
Then the situation happens all over again. The beautiful situation based on similar imagination. Birds are singing.
Then it ends and I look up and am like “Why? Why? What do you have against my dreams man?”
Given time it happens again and you realize that there’s no end and that there’s really nothing called “true love”. It’s just present satisfaction and based on present individualities. People change along with their thought processes.
That idiot who was complimenting Jane’s lovely eyes and soft lips is doing the same with Jennifer’s. It doesn’t stay cent percent original as it’s a bit different now.
You can’t blame anyone or anything cause well everyone does it. Love isn’t everlasting anymore and hence “true” as you don’t have that “one special person” necessarily. I mean now life gives you special offer and sometimes gives you five. For those extraordinary people life gives somewhere between nineteen and twenty seven.
Love has become vastly momentary and basically complex for my understanding. However the concept of this is very simple.
Hence love is simply complicated.