Depth of my feelings – II

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The lights were dimming fast, thoughts perishing as they went. A meticulous merry mark of mischievous matrimony

Scarred in places, reborn with paces

He touched her hands ever so slightly as she reflected on the riches of her guilty pleasures. 

Once deflected of the most unclear joys he perched his sorrows on ulterior grounds.

Searching in the brisk moonlight, putting out his hand in the scorching moonlight

Unearthly forgetfulness centered around one such dissonance

Truth be told, it never went so far but ever so further

Crossing oceans of agonizing happiness he pulled her close and dipped inside her inner sanctum

Marching past disbelief, he somehow felt at home

Upper and lower, near and far. I saw but a raging fire trapped inside a little jar.

I crept ever so gently across the promised lands

I received solace as I felt her’s in my hands

She smiled ever so calmly while she cried a raging river

The sorry little poster child finally reached under my skin

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                    The Lone Star Statuette

 

As she stood a step in the distance

I was a lifetime apart but yet so close

A satisfaction towards the corner of her smile

Merry times led to a withering flower

With petals that curled in over it’s beautiful veins of insecurity

Watching loudly, controlling the fear on her reins in obscurity

Cast away in dimensions, treading on varied simplicity

A tear flowed in silence, the smile blew away a thousand hearts

The red lineage of her bitter monuments, I stared into her servitude

A mellow piece of my ecstasy beneath the west wind raindrops

The veins cried out a whisper that reached deep within my malt-ish vine

Scurried into my Neverland she bit through a thousand pasts

The touch she pushed inside worrying inches of my light heartbeats

Swollen and sorry as I looked past her colorful cries

Heaped and dark, rash and definitely not mine to wonder

I got up as I swam past her Spaniards, reached the dusked up destination

I took a roundabout across memories of sadness, a left took me to another zone

Lost I got as I slipped into a trance, her embrace made me feel at home

 

Slim was her sensibility, sweetly swollen was her hair

Messed in senses, a Evangeline structure ripped bare

The crimson serenity stripped to no amends

Her fair complexion bewitched past a thousand stares

Courageous yet cautious I entered into the solemn seduction

A raw merriment so pure, the crisps of the sides prismed sore

Queried past self-psychosis, as she continued her invasion

Days passed by in an universe that intersected in collision

I felt her scent as I outran her inner melancholy

I carried fast while I pictured her bliss, insinuatingly jolly

In dominance I played to a river of her solitude

I confessed upon her inner angel, she broke fortitude

 

I looked into the soul of her inner, mesmerizing

I crept into her consciousness twice, thrice surprising

As she rejected all through her frequent rants

She self-seduced seduction in loud whispers

When she cried inside her inner sanctum

My hidden essence could hear her weep

With numerous bare heavens, she hid the burnt doorways

Clenching her body with certain joy, my thoughts felt like sto-waways

Writhing in a beckoning so high I took her close

Her slender arms and legs left me comatose

As I called to her shadows, the soft skin so brown and bright

I risked all and dipped into her, holding her insecurities very tight

A relationship set back in time, in a parallel existence

Wondering within waters of memory, a kiss that put the lights out

She dispelled into pestilence, scared me with masterful mania

Hid through every hasty handful, she played through the emotional field

Struck with darkened interference, I was licked by a foolish intolerance

I caressed her dry, treading into a torrid feeling which got to my sense

As I walked away from her brown eyes, I rode into a different sunset

Dressed her in silence, every time coming back to where we first met

 

 

 

 

 

 

KISS OF A LILAC

As she faded away in non-existence
A hug came to me in fantasy
Few sparkles of ceremonious giggles
Lighting up chrysanthemum in a little glass

“You are among my cluster of thoughts”
In a garden of metered maleficence
A true embodiment of gifted lilac
Entrusted by the heart on it’s bloom

Impertinent and immoral, wasted by cruelty sweet
I took a quick glance before the eyes would meet
Proudly I dared look into her compressed mirror
Colors bounced between convex edges

Artful than the impression that Gogh did forget
Menacingly beautiful as she took the turn
A celibacy of uncountable dark attractions at that
A pact of resentful urgencies that cluelessly burn

Puppet intentions, I took a peel of what I could take
The soft edges of mysticism exchanged by a shake
As she curled into his pages, stinging with her straight hair so folly
Her eyes showed the way towards Eden, spreading enamour so jolly

“I love her like anything”, greeneries of thought
A penitent displeasure in the breath
It’s solemnly not a vague plethora
Of any melancholia given to perfection
Strings of euphony lusted in ceremony
Laughter of agony kissed through obscurity

He knew she violated second to none
The edged mistress etched into crimson
The shining black eyes of a liason
With a look that left all red in sensation

The stranger gave another smile
As she ravaged the heart of no return
Skillfully her slender nature took position
Moulding in between while she caressed away
She moved her penchant eyes and searched territory
A discovery properly dressed to be found
The lush hair that left you in dementia
Maroon-ed me ebony, circumstances stood still
Her inner skin touched till fury emerged pointless
Sin brightly crept from behind, curves on their faces
Cloaked in delight, aroused by the stir of salvation
Scared past her ambiguity, cursed by self-domination

As her dark effervescence brightened the path
The solemn moments took it’s first wrath
Supple merriment that passed completely bathed
As he moved through her neck, the sweet shrieks left him unscathed

The innocence that penetrated into the depths of cynicism
The satanic thirst of the angel so pure in contradiction
Descant followed her light feet, each step into melancholia
The lilac jested it’s fragrance, stamped me with her insignia

The Girl in Black and White

There stood the silent traveller

Her thoughts penitent, noisy and raw

As she ravaged into inner metamorphosis

Tens of thousands passed, only seeing her gnaw

As I breached past what seemed like another lonely encounter

There lay a pile of facts on which I started to ponder

Surrounded by baskets of thoughts inside a metered mind

With depth, leftly disillusioned while rightly picked

While the passing boy found joy in her dark brown eyes

I found solace in her inner mystique

Her black and white image said a thousand goodbyes

As her crimson aura piqued with every peek

Finally she was hit by my constant stare

With calm reciprocation, she gave a beastly glare

Solemn in her beauty, those lips whispered terror

Masked by innocence, her brows drew my error

I decided to take a step, a death crawl into her pantry

Am a stubborn martyr, I instantly marched into oblivion

Blinded by the beauty darker than her hair

Charmed by confusion, I sought to make an intrusion

Within moments I entered the ring of fire

As I melted, the confusion faded away

As I dove into the fiery depths, I did not tire

The newfound connection was here to stay

With every moment I chose to read her dry

An automated response to her being sly

The yin yang image held her in a frame

The desire, the terror was part of the game

 

The Evangeline Traveller

There she was in all her fury

Remarkable zest, eyes of obscurity

As they did the occasional down and up

All was noticed was a slender soul

But to me was someone who made me whole

Her curly hair lined its way into my heart

She had clowned them all from the start

As I touched the curly soul there writhed agony

As she menaced to sensation there stood testimony

The aphrodising hand that cried the river

The pheromonic angst that lit through the doorway

The rainbow in her presence whispered me a tale

Breaking a solemn purity, she put down the veil

Little did she know that there crept a shadow

There stood the demon holding the lantern

The sweet giggle pierced through mahogany

While the tongue in cheek softened up the story

Crimson and tantalized as she lay halfway across the bed

Her plain psychosis charmed a thousand loves never said

As she walked by my fence, I crept steady into her secret room

She wove her own Charlotte’s web, I spent time with a valuable cartoon

L’amour jested past a million curses, her purple aura did attain

In tender darkness sailing beyond, le désir dans ses veines

She is the graceful wind, ravaging past sensible mediocrity

An Evangeline traveller, she guided me through her mystical city

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Sudden Journey

As I walked through a hilly road

I met a beautiful traveler

She stood stagnant, constance in her eyes

As I passed I heard a few distant cries

Tempted was my heart when I saw her

Forced were my legs when I approached her

Red were the lips of the feline, her guard kept lowered

Crimson was the inner gem, penitent and in hibernation

Her hair curled to perfection and danced with the leaves

Her eyes claimed solitary, her slender touch calmed the breeze

 

I stood petrified, confused and mesmerized

She, in meditation kept looking towards beyond

As I neared, my approach recoiled back

My fingers yearned to embrace, her skin did attract

As the wind lowered, the cries came back

Her expression showed despair, highlights of a test

The girly lips spoke silently, searched for a new quest

Watching her slowly, my eyes did creep

Reading her closely, the beats did skip

 

My mind joined her journey

She didn’t slow down

My heart raced on

I daydreamt to another town

As I searched her emotions

The light grew dimmer

Little by little I grew pacified

The frown grew thinner

My silly curiosity followed an invisible thread

Meanwhile her solitude grew impatient

Memories of a once wounded

A valiant tear showed its head

 

Confusion did strike, as a blink did go by

I held her quickly without even giving a sigh

The stranger did die, the traveler did awake

It was a sudden slap I almost had to take

 

Astonished she asked how I dared touch her

Her eyes now called the panther, the feline did back off

My lips still bore the feel as her kisser

His mind proved a preying listener, the predator slacked off

The surprise separated us, me on a different side

Yet I couldn’t let it stop, I refused to let it slide

The passion was too great, her eyebrows did rise

Her dusky eyes did surrender as my lips gave another surprise

Of the sudden wrong, each of them had a part that knew

With the heated fury, every question the growing temptation slew

 

Within hours of loneliness, two travelers grew close

In light the darkness did choose to expose

In the end two souls sat having gifted one another

He gave her another fond memory

She showed the side that was dark and unruly

Beastly Fiction

Rotting away into madness.

Slaying into one’s dreams.

Cursing away into a shallow melancholia

Surfacing at least once, in bitter streams

 

A small rose, belonging to the beast

Beauty turns a nod once every red moon

 

“Take this rose in exchange for shelter from the bitter cold”

“Go away!”

 

As he is turned away, the rose looks up

An imaginary smile but there was a real embrace.

 

“Thank you for letting me in”

Beauty welcomed the beast after all

 

The passive surface of two minds is his domain

The words uttered did not remain

It kept him still

Two souls entered melancholia

The world now went in for the kill

 

Sudden silence caught his pace

All his flaws reached him now

Sudden minds pierced him silly

The fell did see as they won the race

 

As his utter silence did cry out

She kept her book and sang oblivious

A hidden parchment in her thoughts

Crumpled language here and about

As the claws hustled back in control

Anger steady, suffering still did behold

In between his fingers, rested a red soul

Terrified of the invisible anguish

Quietly feeling the same noisy toll

“Why?”

A silent question

The little overseer lay in wonder

His silent pat displayed his hidden answer

 

As she started a new story

A distant fiction shed it’s glory

 

 

Girls & Guys

Girls are hard to please and after years of constant mishap even girls pretty well know that. Trust me, if you haven’t met or seen a girl who hasn’t admitted it, you’ve just not met a girl who’s being frank or one who has realized the truth of it yet.

However I would say there is actually a “but”, a big “B….U…T”. First of all I am pretty sure there is a number of you laughing or even just giving a sarcastic smile  since you’re seeing a guy talk about girls. Well as a fellow compatriot I would definitely like to share my experiences with you guys, and to the cute girls reading this I’d just like to say “Hey all you beautiful people.”. Ok before I go on I’d just like to tell you this might get sexist at places so don’t kill me in advance. Basically it’s supposed to. It’s a thesis based on the clear majority which is personally experienced.

Okay so let’s now talk about this. Clearly one of the main reasons women are so complicated is because well there are literally so many types of women. Now I bet now my side’s going like “Hey they are different types of guys too man shut up!”. Well Elmer Fudd let me tell you that even though you’re right you’re kinda not as well. You see the thing is no matter how many types of men there are personality-wise or charm-wise or even the guy’s a calisthenic pro, the thing is that if a cute girl approaches him and wants to go out with him, like let’s say she gives him her number. She could also be completely upfront with him,by the way I recently saw this girl say that they are more upfront than guys are. Basically the point is that no matter how she does it a guy is most probably gonna accept.

Well that girl claimed that particular point on behalf of girls. Well I would like to claim something on behalf of us guys, we guys are less picky. This is true no matter how much we go like “oh no that one’s not cute enough” or “that one’s so hot. I want her”. We say that for every second girl and half of the time they aren’t as pretty as the last. I am not generalizing but the way I have seen, when a girl goes like “He’s cute”, the guy’s actually quite cute. I assure you I am straight. Also they don’t go calling 10 guys cute in the same day, we do that not them. I admit it on behalf of them. Both sides have exceptional people too who go on a mature and advanced category. That’s like the best possible thing I can say to maintain equality at the moment.

A guy needs to stop thinking like a sleuth, think twisted or treat it like a game of chess cause truly that complicates things. It’s only that hard to understand cause you aint taking the simple route. If you want a girl just go and ask her out, like seriously go and say “Can I ask you out?”. If you think she’s cute tell her “You’re cute.”. Stop worrying because she’ll only think you a bit mad at the most. Personal experience bros. Even if you just want to hook up man, dude even they think about it. You know it and I sure as hell know it. Don’t beat about the bush man, it’s less bothersome. Slick words be real smooth but even awkward is cute, each to their own set of people. A person feels better when the other person just states what they want clearly and honestly, it’s easier for them to decide, again clearly and honestly. If you can be straightforward, whether you get her not, she definitely isn’t gonna seem complicated. You just got to be not afraid of not catching a few fish. And for all you know the girl you think is cute might think you’re the same after some of the intentional or unintentional cool acts you pull sometimes.

Trust me on this: No matter who you are, there’s always a handful of the opposite gender who harbor a crush on you for at least a month.

What type of girl likes what type of guys or vice versa is like a secondary phase, a second class pronoun. Both genders have their present characteristic differences because of the way the other one acts.

 

 

Unwavering Kindness

Change is inevitable people say. I don’t know about being inevitable or not but all I know is that it is damn important. However some things don’t change, namely habits. Some habits, like not remembering to clip your toenails or do one’s bed only seem like they are here to stay but they actually do change at some point. There are however some that just don’t no matter how you try such as being good or better yet, kind hearted. Kindness is a very attracting quality and a kind hearted person is usually a person whose drive runs on simplicity. However if you take reality into account, it is also the reverse. Why would someone who takes another person’s interests into account before himself get back something completely opposite? Well that too was my question. Perhaps it’s a lesson that kindness should vary or maybe he needs to stop or just maybe it’s the world telling him he doesn’t know how to exactly be kind. Being kind sometimes seems to almost have written policies when it comes to it’s dealings. Saying that being kind is a curse is actually true because a person cannot ever fully stop being kind. Kindness does not just go away completely, it just goes and sleeps somewhere deep inside. Though perhaps I wish it were one of those habits which could be changed completely. Kindness has a recoil more painful than that of cruelty.

Love is therefore a state that is an ultimate bummer. Once we get into that state we don’t want to take the change at any cost. The heart is a child and it’s needs are always like those of a five year old. The straightforward demand isn’t thought well through, especially when it wants something positive.

True selflessness doesn’t make one a saint, it’s just saying that person wasn’t meant to put himself first. However that doesn’t mean he isn’t putting his thoughts first, or else what would you say is driving all that selflessness? Seeing someone else happy makes him happy, there’s no such thing as a truly selfless person. Even when you’re doing those cute kind acts behind her back, to some extent you really want her to someday find out or else there’s dramatic reaction. Sometimes it takes more than just noticing her every wish while other times it needs a few repetitions of one particular thing.

Out of habit there still isn’t one you could say. The craving for selflessly loving someone or seeing him/her always happy really kills. Almost like a drug. So addictive that no matter what no matter how much it pains, the care, the love doesn’t falter.

I wish the complexity would leave. Then maybe some of the pain, and confusion would go away but it’s developed that habit. Trying to hide isn’t working if nothing else. Being so kind is a gift which doesn’t give much to the self. No matter how you define kindness you got to get something positive back or the vortex will suck you in and keep you there until that person pulls you out.

Sometimes us kind people just want to be butterflies and flutter away and do whatever we want on our own and for only ourselves but we’re in a weird cocoon unable to grow out of it.

Talking About Possibilities

You know at times you’re sitting and eating your evening tea and you suddenly realize how weird the world actually is. I watch a lot of movies and will continue that until the day I die but now perhaps I am really beginning to realize that the old saying  “What you see on television is not true.” that we’ve always heard from our parents which goes is actually true.

Think about it, every third movie you watch has scenes where a guy goes and approaches a girl with real ease and mostly escapes without a slap or the “turn down”. To be exact, the other day I was watching such a movie with a friend and I remember me asking him at one point “It seems so easy you know.” and he went “It’s only smooth  on screen.”. He’s right because if we knew, mostly us guys sadly but in reality if we have even a speck of chance of being turned down we don’t take the step. That’s just how it is, it’s same whether you’re a guy or a girl, gay or straight. We’re afraid of either losing the person from our lives or losing our streak in never being turned down. If the movie route could be taken there would be a lesser number of “sweet talkers” without someone to hook up with every Tuesday. All of us successful talkers can’t take the “No”, basically.

Pickups aren’t the only ones, the similar courage and success when you’re in or you come across a tough spot which you can’t handle easily. That’s long form for “people who want to kick your ass”. If I could fool people and lessen the numbers with as simple as “Wait wait wait” to as complex as “Robby! It’s been so long! Remember the daily outings, you visiting me and me visiting you? Let me give you a hug, then maybe you’ll remember” and taking the chance to jab or turning his/her gun against him/her. The tv is basically saying “You have it in you. You don’t really need any training.” And I’m like “So you’re basically telling me that there is a semi bruce lee inside everyone.”.

Another particular one which is really what made me start talking about this in the first place is that sense of freedom you see in movies. You know that “nothing awkward about it” feeling when a new character suddenly pops up and enters the conversation without asking. I’d love to suddenly walk up to a friend and tell her “Listen I know how you feel but you need to really smile, not just smile. Those who really care about you would really want you to do that” because she definitely needs to know that. To be really honest, that thing just makes you jealous of a movie. A human being jealous of a visual for something can you believe it? I tell you, when you’re able to walk up to someone and tell him/her something based on what you noticed from their behavior in the last five minutes and it’s ok, then you know what proper freedom can be like. It also means that then the word “awkward” needn’t exist.

Basically what they tell you is what’s possible then it’s done. They’ve been doing that for decades. We can always try to impress a girl on the street or walk up and save her from a passing creep or comment on a conversation she’s having but that situation isn’t going to come every day. Unfortunately they aren’t always acceptable everywhere too. If they were, life would be so much easier and more fun. Sometimes this freedom just helps bring people closer easily.