Being Highly Sober

I can hear them as I walk through the well lit rooms and feel as if they are flashing before me whenever and wherever I start feeling weirdly high. Enemies to my consciousness and bitter reminders that the world is just too big, having things which will take many light years to understand.

Well until we know, we never understand what they wish to accomplish. They come quite randomly, make you feel like you’re going to trip. They make others perceive you to be high while make you confused as to whether you are or not because all you had was water and sleep. They make you suddenly find emotions you had, think of killing the person right next to you or kiss the girl you thought to be the last one you’d even think of hugging. I am telling you, the feeling is damn strange. They are seizures that transcend the symptoms that the normal patients suffering from epilepsy feel. I’m talking about the mental dis-balance an overly psychological person would feel. However a purely normal person is feeling it and a reasonably confused person is writing about it.

I can sense the wind talking to me at times. It suddenly tells me to try to command it. It’s like you’re taking a walk at 4:30 pm and suddenly you feel a small breeze and slowly a thought comes. “Wind! Lend me your strength” you think and then the wind suddenly rises. “Isn’t it oddly terrific?” you think to yourself. I have some power inside me. That’s true either way but you still don’t know in a case like this.

You feel cut off yet you walk, talk and feel “normally” alongside the other beings with the power to hide. Orthodox it is when those who are under the light are able to hide but the ones who are invisible find it hard at times to keep themselves invisible.

I find the need to see the frequent shake within my square of vision and search for a different direction, perhaps find deeper reasons for things too. Sometimes the reasoning makes me realize I’m so sober that I’m tremendously high.

That’s frightening sometimes.

It’s not until you’ve felt it that you realize how much your mind can transcend between seconds. You could even start to think that the numbers floating in the dark are real.

You’re trying hard but their idiocies are just too loud. To some extent there must be something in those particular triggers you pass by. It’s hard to murder your own emotions nowadays. I have tried though. You wanna give back the blood and toil but what do you do when your enemy are your own thoughts. But then again I’ll find a way since the amount of my brain that’s active seems to be more than 30%.

I swear I shall do something about my mind if it is the last thing I do. Fight through and stop these unknown sparks from becoming the rage that just annoys.

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